Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize