just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
this boner is exhausting
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
