Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
