she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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