nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
