the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
