So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
