I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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