I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
