why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
