im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
high people should be assigned attendants
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
