Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
