I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
