YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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