3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Found your dick twin last night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
