I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
