Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
