so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
