pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
