Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
