My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
