At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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