ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
