he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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