I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
