and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
