I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
