she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
