i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
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