it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
