We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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