At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need a beard to bite.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
