Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
