is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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