Screwed.edu
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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