You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
