No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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