I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
