Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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