is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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