As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
