just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
