She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So apparently I’m into choking now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
