that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
