Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
