cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
