it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
