rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
