no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
