Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
