I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
