i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I stole a fireplace last night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
