dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
