So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I can't turn off my feet"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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