Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm really busy with my period
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