it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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