i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
