I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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