I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
