he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
